I’m back from New York and currently sitting in a coffee shop writing out this long overdue post. I needed to take it straight back to the roots of Life Chats. I took a little hiatus from the blog last week without giving any notice. Truth be told, it’s not something that I planned on, but I realized how much I needed it. I wanted to give you guys an explanation.
Over the last month or so, maybe even longer, I’ve been feeling extremely discouraged with work and with my life in general. I keep trying to fight it, but those thoughts and emotions are still very present. It’s a constant battle within myself and lately, I’ve been losing.
It’s difficult for me to explain why I’ve been feeling this way as I haven’t exactly gotten to the root of it all just yet. Around the time of my father’s anniversary, I found myself questioning everything in my life. I started focusing on all of the things that I have not achieved yet and began to lose sight of everything that I have. Before I knew it, a pattern started to form each day, which then caused me to fall into a rut.
I’ve noticed that I get into these so called ruts way more often than I would like to admit. Does this mean that at the core of everything I’m not genuinely happy? That’s a chilling feeling and the fact that I’ve had to ask myself that question makes me sad. There are definitely many moments where I do feel an abundance of happiness. I have so much to be thankful for. And I am. I am so appreciative for all of it. But, there are also many times where I don’t feel very happy and it’s almost this sense of emptiness. Maybe I’m subconsciously comparing myself to others, which by the way is the worse thing that you can do. I honestly just think this all means that I am coming to another transitional point in my life.
Change is needed. I’m craving for it.
I tend to get this way when I am too comfortable. I don’t feel pushed. I don’t feel as though I am growing in the ways that I want. More than anything, I feel stuck. It’s an overwhelming sense of disappointment that lingers around for far too long.
I’ve been in this new mindset of “refreshing my life.” The first step was reading The Miracle Morning, which definitely inspired me and helped give me a new outlook each morning. You can read more on my thoughts about that book here. The next step was cutting my hair. This photo was taken pre-cut, but I’m sure you’ve already seen the shorter locks on Instagram. I know it might sound silly, but whenever I cut my hair I instantly feel rejuvenated.
Next, I took a step back from blogging and social media to focus more on ME. You may or may not have noticed that I didn’t post as much on IG. I tried to keep somewhat of a presence, but I was not posting like I normally do. I took a full week off from creating content for the blog so that I could get my thoughts focused on my priorities. I had to get back to practicing self-love. I had to get back to taking care of me.
I was so close to cancelling all of fashion week. My head and heart weren’t it, especially with everything that has been happening in our country and in this world. I decided to go for just a few days though so that I could have a change of scenery and surround myself with some friends. I had to push myself past whatever I was feeling and being in New York helped a bit. I kept a good balance of doing NYFW things and also having down time. I didn’t overwhelm myself and it ended up being a great few days.
Yesterday morning, I took a boxing class with Reebok and can’t tell you how EMPOWERED it made me feel. This class truly pushed me and my limits. As sore as I am today, I feel amazing. I needed this jumpstart and motivation to help me get into a healthier lifestyle. I’ve gotten back into a negative space in terms of the way I feel about my body. It’s not a good feeling. So instead of complaining about it, it’s time to do something about it.
I am a constant work in progress. While I do try my best to be as positive as I can, I’m human and sometimes I fall short. I have my moments of weakness just like anyone else. The good thing is that I am constantly trying to push past the difficult times. I had an emotionally rough month, but I’m working hard to turn that all around in every way that I can.
I wanted to be honest and let you guys know why I went radio silent. I’ve missed you. As always, thank you all so much for reading. I hope you’ll leave me a comment below so that we can chat. ❤️