Life Chats: Don’t Miss The Blessing

Back in December, I worked on a fun project with Clinique. We spent an
entire day prepping and shooting for an editorial with two of their foundations in the March issue of Glamour magazine. It was an incredible day with such an amazing team of creative people. Photo shoots like this take me out of my element and it’s always a learning
experience. It helps me grow and forces me to be more comfortable in this type of
environment.  Shooting head shots in a studio with a dozen professionals in the room is
completely different than shooting outfits outside with my mom. It’s much more up close and personal and honestly, it can be a little intimidating at first.

I can be my own worst critic at times, obsessing over every flaw or insignificant detail. Do I look too tired? Does this angle make me look fat? Am I pretty enough? Am I good enough? Unfortunately, those are some of the thoughts that would frequent my mind. Those were some of the thoughts behind this photo and you probably would never have known that if I didn’t tell you. Self doubt and self criticism are things that I have had to continuously work on my entire life. For as long as I can remember I have been this way. I’ve just always been so hard on myself. I won’t get into the whys, but it has honestly been one of my biggest weaknesses. I feel in many ways I have grown past this though, especially as I have built on my self-love relationship. I have gotten to a much better and stronger place with myself over the years. However, I do still have some insecurities just like every other woman and even when I push them into the darkness, there are certain instances when that part of me creeps back into the light. Projects like this can leave me a little vulnerable and out of that vulnerability breeds criticism. I hate when I do that to myself because I end up missing out on the blessing by focusing on the wrong things. Do you ever catch yourself doing this?

 I often forget to give myself credit for what I have built over these last 5 years. I still can’t believe how far I have come. Each opportunity that I receive is like a little wake-up call. When I opened up Glamour and saw this feature in person, I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. I did this. I made this happen. That’s a beautiful thing. It’s a blessing that I almost lost sight of and whatever negative thoughts I allowed to live in the forefront of my mind quickly disappeared. I have spent too much time in my life focusing on my flaws and doubting my capabilities. It’s time to embrace and truly appreciate all I have and all I have
accomplished. So it is in these moments where I am reminded of all of my hard work and I can’t help but feel a little proud. We are all so blessed in many different ways and we should always be aware of that.

So here it is, my Clinique spread in the March Issue of Glamour with my girl Krystal! I shared this yesterday on Instagram and can’t thank you all enough for the sweet and
supportive messages. You guys motivate and inspire me every day. I love sharing not just the highlights and success, but the real behind-the-scenes that lies beneath every photo, even photos like this. I hope that my journey, both the good and the bad, continues to motivate and inspire you all to chase after your dreams until you catch them. ❤️

Photos by Sarah Silver