Life Chats

If I told you that I have been overwhelmed lately I think that would be an understatement.  I’m starting to feel like I did back towards the beginning of the year, which usually happens when I have so much going on all at once.  In the process of being stressed I tend to forget to take proper care of myself and that usually makes me feel worse.  It’s not that anything bad is happening in my life at the moment, it’s actually all good things for the most part, but I am trying to divide myself in so many ways to so many people all at the same time.  It’s not working.  I’m starting to feel sluggish again and that’s totally my own fault.  I haven’t been sticking to my nutrition and workout routine for the past month and I can already see the effect it’s having on me both physically and mentally.  I’m back to eating once or twice a day only and I am not getting much sleep.  That’s bad, I know.  Sometimes I get so caught up in everything that’s going on that I forget about myself.  I tend to lose myself in the process.  I will be so good and so consistent, but then the moment I get overwhelmed with life I go right back to my old ways.  I admit it’s a constant struggle and I sometimes fight for the proper balance.  With so much happening in my personal life, I notice that it takes me away from my work.  By that, I mean I begin to lose inspiration and I feel like I need to take a quick step back to regroup.  Does this make sense?  Do you ever feel this way too?  

In addition to everything that’s happening, I also feel like I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately.  I go through this every so often when I feel something is lacking in my life or when I begin to rethink certain things.  I’m pretty sure I am going through it now because my birthday is coming up in 2 weeks and I tend to get this way every year.  I think of where I am at in my life at the moment and where I still want to be.  I sometimes worry about the distance between the two and if I will ever get to the next step.  And what is the next step?  Where am I going from here?  Trust me, this is something that I think about all the time.  I’m so open and ready for new opportunities, but instead of waiting around for them I need to just create them for myself.  This is another reason why my trip is coming at the most perfect moment.  What better way to do some soul searching than by traveling to a different country all by yourself?  I have to remind myself that I can do this on my own.  There’s something extremely empowering about being able to accomplish a goal all by your lonesome.  I know I said it before, but I honestly believe in my heart this journey is going to change me.  I’m ready for that change.  I need it.  I was starting to get too comfortable again and I need more moments that take me away from that.  A shift is coming and I’m here with open arms. 

My reason for sharing this is because I stress just like all of you do and probably in some of the same ways.  I have my doubts and I question my capabilities.  I tend to take on too much.  I try to be superwoman.  I want to be everything to everyone, but that’s just not possible.  I definitely don’t always have it all together nor do I ever really have a set plan. Life is not perfectly curated like an Instagram feed, but imagine it was?  I actually think it would be a bit boring that way.  The struggles, challenges, flaws, and imperfections make things interesting.  That is what separates each person from the next, yet it’s also what brings us together.  <3 

A quick little update on Kiko:  So far only one bad day since I brought him home.  This is a good sign.  He’s still being crated all day every day and on meds, but it’s getting easier as he gets more used to his routine.  I’m taking him next week for a follow-up to see where he is at with the herniated disk and the pain.  I pray that he will continue to move forward from this.  Thanks again for all of the well wishes to my fur baby.  Means so much!