Life Chats

35 Life Lessons I’ve Learned In My 30s

I woke up this morning on my birthday in my very own apartment here in New York City ready to embrace this new year that I have been blessed with. Being in my mid-thirties is a thought that honestly used to scare me, but it doesn’t anymore. I’ve actually never felt more empowered, alive and grateful. I was always told that my 30s would be my best years and that couldn’t be more true.

Looking back on my 20s, I remember a lost girl trying to find her way in this world. I had absolutely no idea what my purpose was – or what I was meant to do. I lived too comfortably, never really stepping outside of my familiarity in the ways that I should have. Back then it was difficult for me to accept change. I allowed fear to hold me back from reaching my full potential. In many ways, I used to limit my greatness without even realizing it.

All of that changed for me over these last couple of years in my 30s as I’ve continued to discover new things about myself. At 35, I can truthfully say that I am finally the best version of myself. I’m not perfect. I’m constantly learning and fighting daily battles, but I’ve been able to evolve into a better woman. As I reflect on each year that has passed, I can see the growth and changes I’ve made. I’m extremely appreciative of all the lessons I’ve learned that have helped me get to this point. There have been so many of them, so I wanted to share those with you all today on my birthday!


  1. I can’t put my life on a scheduled timeline. Things are going to happen exactly when and how they are supposed to. I need to have faith in that.
  2. Comparing my journey to other people only takes away my joy and diminishes the greatness of all the milestones I’ve already reached.
  3. During every waiting process, there is an opportunity to grow.
  4. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single in your 30s. Take the time you need to find yourself and love yourself enough before you can offer your heart up to someone else.
  5. It’s important to cultivate real connections and relationships – ones that have depth and transparency.
  6. The comeback is always stronger than the setback.
  7. Do not force anything. Always let it happen naturally. If you have to force it, then it’s not meant to be.
  8. Failure is a necessary part of growth.
  9. It is OK to put yourself first. You can’t forget to make yourself a priority and take care of YOU.
  10. The people who want to show up for you will show up.
  11. Grief does not know time and not all wounds completely heal, but you learn to use this as a motivator every single day.
  12. There is beauty in tragedy – find it and let it inspire you to be better.
  13. What other people think of you is none of your business.
  14. It’s important to surround yourself with those who truly want to see you win – friends who lift you up, support you and comfort you.
  15. People will enter your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Everyone is meant to teach you something different.
  16. Make sure that there is a real intention behind everything you do.
  17. There is power in saying, “NO.”
  18. Traveling alone is one of the best ways to discover new things about yourself.
  19. The energy that you put out is what you will attract back.
  20. Creating meaningful connections through deep conversation is what moves me the most.
  21. Not everyone has good intentions. Always, always, always follow your instincts.
  22. Trust in the struggles because they’re only preparing you for the next phase of your life.
  23. Know your worth and never, ever compromise your value.
  24. Don’t strive for perfection. Strive for authenticity.
  25. Loss is inevitable and you are going to experience so much of it throughout your life.
  26. Time is so fleeting. If there is something that you want to do, you must go out and do it NOW. Don’t wait.
  27. Don’t fixate on the things that weigh you down.
  28. You are so deserving and you deserve it all.
  29. If you don’t believe in yourself and in your dreams, then you can’t expect others to believe.
  30. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall. Get your ass back up and try it again.
  31. Your faith can move mountains. When you center your life around your relationship with God, everything has a way of falling into place.
  32. Wake up each morning and remind yourself of your purpose. This will set the tone for the rest of the day.
  33. When you know yourself – your wants and your needs – you will know what to look for in a partner.
  34. You will never be ready for what life throws at you. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now.
  35. You are enough.

It took me until this year to finally move out and live on my own. Every single day when I am in my apartment I remind myself of all the hard work and resilience that it took for me to get here to be able to create this new life for myself. Whenever I am faced with challenges and doubts, I remind myself that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at 35. My life’s plan has been different than most, but it’s blessed me in many ways. Everything that has transpired in my life happened in order to lead me here to this very moment today.

I am looking forward to the next 365 days around the sun and the other lessons that I will learn along the way. Cheers to many more years and Happy Birthday to me!🎈

  1. Happy Birthday!! These are all great things to remember on your birthday, thanks for the reminder!

    xx, Elise

    • Naty

      Thank you, Elise! Definitely important reminders! xo

  2. You are amazing! Love this post, so enlightening & empowering ❤ HAPPY BIRTHDAY & GOD BLESS!!!

    • Naty

      Thank you so much, Jamie. You are so sweet!

  3. Shanakay

    Nat…..these are amazing. Sound words to live by. New follower on blog. Happy Birthday with lots of LOVE❤❤❤

    • Naty

      Thank you so much for reading and happy that you enjoyed them! xo

  4. Rena

    Happy bday Naty, i rem discoverin ur blog a love affairin 2013 n it helped me through my anxiety problems n i had just started my blog..i was livin in Kenya ffw 5yrs l8r i now live in Georgia n goodness life is full of surprises..readin this post really hits home coz am in my 30s too n ooh Lord am still tryna find myself esp in a new country but truth is we have to enjoy the journey..I wish u all the best

  5. Eunice

    When are you settling down n getting married dear?

    • Naty

      When it happens, it happens. I am content with not being married right now.

  6. Nina P

    Love this ! You are inspiring ! Xo

    • Naty

      You are so sweet, thank you love!

  7. Mayra

    It is our experiences in life that make us the women we are meant to be. Thank you for sharing your journey with us. much love and light to you on this new year.

  8. Paloma

    I just find you. I am genuinely moved by your words. I wish you lots happiness and love.

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