I’m back from New York and currently sitting in a coffee shop writing out this long overdue post. I needed to take it straight back to the roots of Life Chats. I took a little hiatus from the blog last week without giving any notice. Truth be told, it’s not something that I planned on, but I realized how much I needed it. I wanted to give you guys an explanation.
Over the last month or so, maybe even longer, I’ve been feeling extremely discouraged with work and with my life in general. I keep trying to fight it, but those thoughts and emotions are still very present. It’s a constant battle within myself and lately, I’ve been losing.
It’s difficult for me to explain why I’ve been feeling this way as I haven’t exactly gotten to the root of it all just yet. Around the time of my father’s anniversary, I found myself questioning everything in my life. I started focusing on all of the things that I have not achieved yet and began to lose sight of everything that I have. Before I knew it, a pattern started to form each day, which then caused me to fall into a rut.
I’ve noticed that I get into these so called ruts way more often than I would like to admit. Does this mean that at the core of everything I’m not genuinely happy? That’s a chilling feeling and the fact that I’ve had to ask myself that question makes me sad. There are definitely many moments where I do feel an abundance of happiness. I have so much to be thankful for. And I am. I am so appreciative for all of it. But, there are also many times where I don’t feel very happy and it’s almost this sense of emptiness. Maybe I’m subconsciously comparing myself to others, which by the way is the worse thing that you can do. I honestly just think this all means that I am coming to another transitional point in my life.
Change is needed. I’m craving for it.
I tend to get this way when I am too comfortable. I don’t feel pushed. I don’t feel as though I am growing in the ways that I want. More than anything, I feel stuck. It’s an overwhelming sense of disappointment that lingers around for far too long.
I’ve been in this new mindset of “refreshing my life.” The first step was reading The Miracle Morning, which definitely inspired me and helped give me a new outlook each morning. You can read more on my thoughts about that book here. The next step was cutting my hair. This photo was taken pre-cut, but I’m sure you’ve already seen the shorter locks on Instagram. I know it might sound silly, but whenever I cut my hair I instantly feel rejuvenated.
Next, I took a step back from blogging and social media to focus more on ME. You may or may not have noticed that I didn’t post as much on IG. I tried to keep somewhat of a presence, but I was not posting like I normally do. I took a full week off from creating content for the blog so that I could get my thoughts focused on my priorities. I had to get back to practicing self-love. I had to get back to taking care of me.
I was so close to cancelling all of fashion week. My head and heart weren’t it, especially with everything that has been happening in our country and in this world. I decided to go for just a few days though so that I could have a change of scenery and surround myself with some friends. I had to push myself past whatever I was feeling and being in New York helped a bit. I kept a good balance of doing NYFW things and also having down time. I didn’t overwhelm myself and it ended up being a great few days.
Yesterday morning, I took a boxing class with Reebok and can’t tell you how EMPOWERED it made me feel. This class truly pushed me and my limits. As sore as I am today, I feel amazing. I needed this jumpstart and motivation to help me get into a healthier lifestyle. I’ve gotten back into a negative space in terms of the way I feel about my body. It’s not a good feeling. So instead of complaining about it, it’s time to do something about it.
I am a constant work in progress. While I do try my best to be as positive as I can, I’m human and sometimes I fall short. I have my moments of weakness just like anyone else. The good thing is that I am constantly trying to push past the difficult times. I had an emotionally rough month, but I’m working hard to turn that all around in every way that I can.
I wanted to be honest and let you guys know why I went radio silent. I’ve missed you. As always, thank you all so much for reading. I hope you’ll leave me a comment below so that we can chat. ❤️
Hi Naty, you are not alone in feeling like that. I feel like this everyday. I feel like I’m not where I want to be in life. I feel I let myself down. But worst I feel I let my parents down. They sacrificed themselves for me to have a good future and I did nothing with it. My thing is I don’t know how to get out of feeling like this. Because at this point I don’t know what I want. I really hope you move forward. I see your post and I’ve told you before, I admire what you have done so far and you seem so strong. I wish you the best.
Hi Jesenia! I am so sorry that you have been feeling this way and I truly hope that you are able to push past it. I know how difficult it can be, but the important thing is to let it make you stronger and keep moving forward. It’s never too late to have the life you want or to go after your dreams. We have to look at every day as a new opportunity for change in our lives. Having a creative outlet is such an incredible way to figure things out for yourself. It’s so therapeutic. I think you should read The Miracle Morning. It really helped me these last two weeks to give me a fresh perspective. Let it inspire you. Wishing you the best love!
Oh Naty, your realism gets me all the time and always motivates me to come out of my own little rut. I’ve recently had to pull myself together from blaming myself when my 6 month old caught the flu for the second time in a space of 2 months. I saw myself as a bad mother and other silly things, but now I’m getting myself out of that mindset and I’m going to be strong for my baby girl.
Thank you for sharing and in a way forcing some of us to also introspect. I really appreciate you and your life chats.
*sorry for my long comment
Ruth, I always love your comments girl! Never apologize for them being long. I truly enjoy reading what you have to say. I am so sorry to hear about your baby being sick. I remember when my niece was around the same age and she constantly got sick too. You are an amazing mother and I hope you don’t ever forget that. Stay strong love, you got this! xo
Hi Mary 🙂 I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling this way lately, but believe me when I say you’re not alone. I understand the emotions you’re describing all too well. I often look at my life and the word that most often comes to mind is “failure.” Which I understand is no way to think of ourselves, but I feel like such a disappointment. It’s great you’re trying to push past this wall you’ve come up against; I still can’t quite see a way through or around my own wall.
Sorry for the typo on your name. I typed Naty and didn’t realize auto correct changed it to Mary 😑😶
haha no worries!
Hi Sakura! Thank you for reading and chatting with me about this! It’s totally normal to feel disappointed at times, but remember that the “failures” and setbacks are what makes us stronger. It can be so hard to pull yourself out of a rut, but just try to push forward towards all the things that you want in life. I truly hope that you can break down that wall. Never dull your shine or undermine your greatness. You got this girl!!! xo
I struggle with a lot of the feelings you shared here and I love how raw and honest you get on your blog. I took things pretty slow fashion week and I’m happy I did but so jealous of your reebok class! Listen, we’re doing a boxing class date with avo toast after. 😉
Thank you my love. I always appreciate you reading! Boxing and avo toast sounds like the perfect day to me! Please, let’s do it asap!
You are so not alone, girlfriend! We all get into these funks. The best part of all of this is that you WANT the challenge and the change. You WANT to be better. And you WILL get past this because you are willing to put in the work and figure it out. Keep your chin up. If you need a good read that helps you kind of just make sense of life and priorities, take a look at “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***. It is very straightforward, but in a good way. I just finished and it really helped me to figure out my true values and priorities. Keep your chin up. XOXO
You are too sweet, thank you girl! I think it’s so great to know that we are not alone in how we feel. Funks suck, but you’re right. The best part is wanting to get out of them and wanting to be better. I’ve heard of that book before so now I will definitely have to check it out! xo
Get 10 minutes of midday sun at least once per week, 8 hours of deep sleep every night and a mini vacation every 3 months. Start each day with thanks for 3 different things and do one new thing each day. Most of all do something nice for your mama each day. It is in giving that we receive.
Love these suggestions, thank you! Totally agree that in giving we receive! Thank you so much for reading. xo
Hi! I recently started following you and have enjoyed your posts, IG stories, travels, and your sense of style! It’s like you wrote feelings, emotions, and thoughts I have been feeling. For months I couldn’t pinpoint why I haven’t done well in my job (a job I’ve excelled in for years) and felt unmotivated about everything. I’m at a point in my life where I thought I’d be in a better position professionally and also personally. Perhaps it’s because I am my worst critic too. Anyhow, perhaps life is not always going to turn out the way we want or expect. Like you, I need change. This gave me a bit (well..a lot) of comfort. Hope you have a good week ahead! Looking forward to more life chats! 🙂
Hi Andrea! Thank you so much for reading and for your comment! I’m so happy that you were able to relate to this post. I think that change is a good thing. Sometimes it’s scary but sometimes its necessary for us to grow and get to a new chapter in our lives. Don’t forget to focus on all of your blessings along the way though! I hope that you regain your motivation and can get to a better place professionally and personally! Sending you love! xo
Love reading your life chats! I think we all go through this, and I think it’s just God telling us it’s time for a change, time to grow, or time to slow down. I find that when I start feeling this way, taking some silent time every day helps. Next time I’m in NYC we should definitely do brunch!
That seriously makes my day, you have no idea. Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoy these. I totally agree that it’s God telling us we need to make changes. Silent time is so essential. I am learning to do this each morning. Definitely let me know when you’re in NYC! xo
Are we the same person? If not, there’s something in the air. I’ve been feeling the same way: stuck, like i’m just going through the motions of life rather than living it. I think it’s so important to acknowledge when that’s happening and be able to step back and make adjustments. Hopefully yours work!
-Kristina
Hi Kristina! You know what’s crazy? Sometimes I think a lot of us get this way with the change of seasons, especially this time of year. I am already making some changes and feeling better and I hope that you are too! Acknowledging is definitely so important. xo
I have been struggling with some inner things and other issues in my life that have caused me to be negative and I think unhappy. I have had to take it day by day and not think of the next day. You are not alone in this. I try to focus on all the good things in my life and not look at the things that make me sad. But sometimes it really hard. Lets keep hope that things will get better and that we will be able to overcome the struggles that bind us. Thank you for always sharing even in the hard times.
xoxo
Celeste