It’s the last day of November and I’ve been completely lost in my thoughts this past week. Maybe it’s the fact that I can’t seem to kick this stomach bug that hit me late Saturday night. All of this rest has forced me to dig deep within myself.
Or maybe it’s the fact that the year is coming to a close and I’m still mulling over my mental to-do list. Either way, I’m embracing this little pause period as it’s forced me to pay closer attention to a few things I’ve buried deep within my mind.
I’m still processing my thoughts and feelings so I hope that this doesn’t come out as rambling. Also, I’m going on day 5 of this chicken soup and cracker diet, so it’s possible that I might be a little bit delirious.
Sort of joking, sort of serious. 🙄 Just bear with me here.
Truthfully, I didn’t have any intentions of publishing content this week on the blog. I was in the mindset of taking full advantage of this little hiatus so that I could regroup and recharge for next week.
But- I finally felt inspired to write and didn’t want to pass that up. The writer’s block has been extremely present lately, so hopefully this will be the beginning of its departure.
These photos were taken the second day of November by the way and have just been sitting on my desktop. It took me that long to figure out what I wanted this post to be.
What is my purpose in this industry?
This is one of the questions that has frequently crossed my mind, more so lately than ever before. I hate to even come to terms with the fact that I have had to ask myself this. It took me such a long time to find my purpose in the first place so how am I back here again?
I’m coming up on my 6 year anniversary (more on that next week) and maybe that’s part of the reason that I’ve been giving so much attention to this thought. In many ways, I have grown tremendously. Sharing that growth with all of you has been the most amazing part of this entire process.
In other ways though, I still feel like I’m struggling to evolve and expand in the ways that I want. I’m still struggling to take things to that next level.
Sometimes, I think it’s because I don’t have a team helping me. Sometimes, I think it’s because I’m not living in NYC yet. And sometimes, I think it’s because I am not good enough. My content isn’t creative enough. The quality of my work is not where it should be. I’m no longer growing my platforms. I’ve hit my plateau.
STOP! I literally have to yell at myself inside my head.
The back and forth with myself has been feeding my mind so much negativity. It has actually made me feel like I no longer have a purpose with what I am doing and that’s not ok.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
I got caught up in the comparison game lately – a game that I hate to play because I never win. It’s part of our nature as humans to do this from time to time, but we all know it’s unhealthy. We have to stop comparing our journeys. We have to stop comparing our purpose.
One of the downsides to this industry though is that we do this way more often than I’m sure any of us would like to admit. As we scroll through our Instagram feeds and are bombarded with beautiful, inspiring images there comes a point where you might question whether or not your content is up to par or maybe you wonder why you don’t have as much success as someone else.
I hate that we do that. It’s one of the main reasons that I felt so compelled to be way more open and honest with all of you. I wanted so badly to break down those notions that all was perfect “in a blogger’s life.”
I focused on fashion only for a very long time and for me personally, I didn’t feel fulfilled enough with that type of content. I knew I needed to dig deeper and get more personal.
That inspired me to create this Life Chats series almost two years ago. It motivated me to do the full rebrand to Naty Michele as a LifeStyle Blog. I then expanded into my Behind The Blogging Scenes series and wrote even more personal pieces so that I could continue to build on my connection with all of you.
That was my purpose, I felt. That was my place in this industry. That is what set me apart.
So much has changed in this digital space and more and more creatives are sharing their struggles and unfiltered truths. THIS. IS. AMAZING.
It makes me proud to be part of a community where so many other women are telling their stories and showing that beneath the perfectly curated feeds are flaws. Flaws and insecurities that most of us share. It’s actually the common thread among all of us, isn’t it? That we are all perfectly imperfect.
So why does this make me question my purpose and place in this industry?
I honestly don’t know how to answer that. I’m still trying to figure it out. It might sound silly, but sometimes I think maybe it’s because the one thing that I felt set me apart no longer does. But in reality – it actually inspires me even more to continue doing it!
Or sometimes I think it’s because I’ve been at a standstill and feel very complacent. Or that maybe – just maybe – I am about to be on the verge of a breakthrough to get me to that next level. Let’s go with the latter.
I still remember the days I prayed for the things I have now.
Regardless of how I have been feeling and whatever has transpired these thoughts, I am eternally grateful to still be able to do what I love – to be able to work for myself. I am fulfilled.
It’s been 7 years that I have been out of the typical 9-5 job. When I got laid off, I vowed that I would never work for someone else ever again. I made this promise with absolutely no plan and zero idea what I wanted to do with my life.
I prayed on it. I prayed hard. I followed my heart. I trusted my instincts. And now, here we are.
If you’ve made it to this point, which I hope you have, I guess the takeaway from this chat is that I think so many of us are still figuring it all out. After doing something for such a long time, it’s normal to reevaluate.
There will be times when we question our purpose, times when we compare and times when we doubt our abilities. We just can’t unpack and live in this space. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel in order to work through it and move forward. Often times we just need a change in routine and a dose of newfound inspiration.
A few reminders for me and for you: Remember your greatness. You are you and that is your power. There’s no one like you. You have a purpose. You will find your purpose. You got this.
As I continue to work through the motions, I look forward to what lies ahead in this creative space of mine. I just wanted to be honest and share some of the things that have been on my heart lately. Thank you so much for reading! Love you.