I was sorting through all of the photos on my macbook and came across this one that I took during my LA trip in the beginning of the year. It still takes my breath away. The scenery in California is so beautiful and inspiring that it’s hard not to be moved.
For as long as I can remember, one of my dreams has always been to relocate to LA. My Cali obsession started back in grammar school when I formed a huge celebrity crush on Jonathan Taylor Thomas (HA!) I remember my father telling me that one day he would take me there, but unfortunately I never had the opportunity to experience LA with him. Well time passed and as I got older that crush faded and my reasons for wanting to live there changed. I went there for the first time with my sister in April 2010 and I fell completely in love with everything. I came home and told my parents that even though I hated my job, I wanted them to transfer me out there so I could finally make my dream come true. I honestly put no thought behind it. I had no real plan. I just wanted to take that leap of faith and my parents of course, were not too happy with the idea. I remember my father getting a little upset with me. “What if something happens to you out there? How can I help you from all the way over here?” That was always his way… he always wanted to be able to help, protect, and take care of me. After arguing with him for awhile, he finally caved and said that I had his support. That meant so much to me.
I talked to my job at the time to find out the necessary steps I needed to take in order to relocate. I was trying to get everything figured out. A few weeks went by and my father got sick. He was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer and suddenly my entire world stopped. I remember him saying “I’m sorry I ruined your plans. You can still go to LA if you want to. I will be fine.” I couldn’t believe that in his fragile state, he still wanted to put my dreams first. I told him I was never going to leave his side and I didn’t. Till the very end, till his last breath, I was right there.
It made me realize how important the timing is in our lives and that we don’t always get what we want at the exact moment we want it. I can’t even imagine what would have happened if I had moved out to LA and then found out about my father’s diagnosis. I would have never forgiven myself. It’s so crazy how he was worried that he wouldn’t have been able to take care of me if I moved, because the reality was that I would have not been able to take care of him. I thank God that I was right here in Jersey every single day during those last few months of his life.
A year after he passed, I went back to LA and tried to make the move once more. I was really inspired to go after my dreams more than ever and I was still trying to find my way back in life. This time I had actually found a place to live and I had a plan. But once again, life had something else in store for me and I realized it still was not the right time. I’ve tried to revisit the thought a few other times in the past year and something always happens to keep me here. An amazing opportunity will present itself and it will require me to be in the NJ/NYC area. Some of the opportunities have come to life while others fell through and it’s left me wondering Will I ever capture this dream? I know in my heart it is still not the right time for me.
I just wanted to share this story with all of you because unexpected things, whether good or bad, happen in our lives and we are not always prepared for them. We can plan everything out to happen a certain way but something might occur to change it all completely. We might have goals and dreams that are taking a little longer than expected to reach, but don’t lose faith and don’t give up. I’ve learned that we aren’t always given what we want but we are always given what we need. And just because something might not happen today, it doesn’t mean that it’s never going to happen.
The past 3 years of my life (since my father passed) I have witnessed too many “coincidences” in terms of timing. I’ve learned to have patience, understanding, and acceptance. I know that whatever is meant for me in this life is going to happen when it’s supposed to. I think I still have some unfinished business here in Jersey and maybe that’s why something always comes in the way.
Let everything that happens in your life be a lesson. Try to understand it, accept it and move forward. Try not to be discouraged and don’t spend too much time dwelling on all of the things you wanted but didn’t get. Timing truly is everything.
If you took time to read this all, thank you! I hope it inspired you <3