Life Chats

I went to the bookstore the other day and came across a book that really caught my attention.  It’s called “I’m Happy For You (Sort of… not really) Finding Contentment In a Culture Of Comparison.” It’s all about how most of our own personal insecurities come from comparing ourselves to others.  It also highlighted one of my favorite quotes, “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” This got me thinking a lot as it’s something that I have always believed to be true.  It really inspired me to open up and touch on this topic today with you all, so I hope that you are able to take something away from this post. 

We live in a time where social media is such an important aspect of all our lives.  Reading that out loud actually just sounded really crazy to me, but it’s true.  It’s very easy to see someone else’s success via Facebook statuses and instagram posts.  You scroll through your feed and see all of these beautiful places that they’re traveling to, their happy relationships and all of these amazing things that they are doing and you start wondering why that’s not happening for you too.  You see what appears to be this perfect feed filled with flawless selfies and successful aspects of that person’s life and then you look at yours and start to feel a little insecure.   You start wanting what they have and feeling less amazing about yourself.  I think at some point or another we have all felt this way.  Here’s the thing though.  While everything is kind of thrown in our faces on social media, it doesn’t really matter what everyone else is doing.  What matters most is what you are doing.  As hard as it might be, don’t ever be discouraged by someone else’s success.  If anything, that should just be a motivating factor for you to achieve your goals.  If they can do it, so can you.  In reference to that quote I mentioned above, sometimes all we see is someone’s highlight reel and not their behind-the-scenes, but that does not mean that they haven’t had their own struggles too.  Think of it like this.  Pretty much every single thing is posted with a filter.  Even though it appears to be perfect, it is not.  There is a deeper story behind every photo and I can guarantee that although someone might be super successful right now, they have also struggled a lot along the way.  It all goes back to what I have said numerous times before, “People only show you what they want you to see.”  I admit that there have been times in my life where I used to feel this way a little bit, especially being a blogger amongst thousands of other bloggers, but I’ve really been inspired and motivated by other people’s success.  For me, this is not a competition or a comparison game.  There is enough room for us all to succeed in life.  I just wish that we all believed in ourselves a little bit more so that it would be easier to empower one another and be supportive instead of breaking each other down.  Doing this only makes you feel worse about yourself in the end and who wants to feel that way? 

This brings me to the next part of this post.  It’s something that I recently started doing and I really wanted to share it with you all because it’s been very helpful for me.  At the beginning of every month, typically the first week, I grab my notebook and a coffee and head out to the park or somewhere that I can have a little quiet “me” time.  Obviously I brought my mom to take these photos for the post, but I always do this by myself.  I write down a list of my goals for the month, whatever it is that I want to accomplish.  This is not a “to do” list for work or a schedule of events that I have going on.  This is a personal goal list, a dream list.  If there’s a place I want to travel to that month, then I write it down.  If I want to commit to writing at least 5 new pages of my book, then I write that down.  If it’s a fitness goal or something new that I want to try, I write it down.  Then, I make a list of whatever I feel I need to work on at the moment.  It’s a way for me to pinpoint my weaknesses so that I can work hard at making them my strengths.  I also write down whatever it is that I am feeling in that moment and some reminders for myself that I can do everything on these lists.  I’m a firm believer that when I envision what I want, when I truly see it happening, then it comes to life.  For the most part, this has happened for me.  Writing things down and seeing them in front of my eyes is another way for me to envision it all. 

When the first week of the next month comes, I go back to the park and go over my lists and notes from the previous month.   I cross off whatever I accomplished and look at the things that I did not do.  I’ll ask myself why I didn’t hit those goals and make some notes for myself to ensure that I will get it done this month and then I make new lists.  I look back on what I marked down as weaknesses to see if I improved in these areas and if I didn’t, then it’s time to work harder at them. I also make notes of any highlights from the previous month.  I started doing this in the beginning of the summer.  This is very personal to me and I definitely went back and forth on whether or not I wanted to share this with you guys.  But like I said above, it’s really helped me and more importantly it’s made me focus on my own journey, my own path and my own success.  Maybe this is something that you could start doing for yourself too.  We all deserve to feel confident and know that we are capable of achieving anything in life.  We just need to stay focused on what is important and keep our eyes locked on our goals, our strengths, our weaknesses and not someone else’s.  

As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read these Life Chats posts.  The feedback has meant so much to me and I hope that you continue to feel a connection.  Happy weekend loves! <3  

  1. Hi babe,
    OMG you have spoken like 10 people in 1. You have no clue how I was like oh my I wish sometimes we'd all relax n not worry so much what others are doing.Quick scenario..last week I was really really really down, I mean I felt broken even.But I had a date to attend and so I wanted to just stay home coz I didn't even have the energy but I decided to just go ahead coz sad or not life continues. I decided with my moods I will wear my best dress n my fav color white to just cover my gloom because it was even showing on my face earlier.

    The moment I walked out I was looking bright n in a perfect mood, other people were complementing me and loving my look, but little did they know what I was dealing with.So ur right behind every photo there surely is a story. So I also encourage people to follow their own paths, not everything that glitters is gold.I was white outside but blue…Hell black even…inside.


    • Thanks so much for sharing that with me! I am happy that you were able to connect to this post. You're absolutely right that not everything that glitters is gold. Hope you're feeling better now! xo

  2. Love love the post! Very inspiring! ❤️

  3. I love reading your life chats! Yes social media can have a big impact on your self esteem if you allow it. Unplugging from social media is only temporary too, the trick is to have a thick skin and know that not all that glitters is gold. We can all succeed if you put in the time and effort. Really enjoyed reading this post.

    • Thanks so much for reading them! Really means a lot to me and I'm happy you are able to relate! xo

  4. Thank you for sharing this it really came to me at the right time

    • That makes me so happy to know you read it at a time when you needed it. xo

  5. Love that healthy habit of writing goals and dreams down!

  6. Dab

    My love ,
    You absolutely have no idea what you touch in my soul when you write down these life quotes .well to be very honest am not the one who gets easily broken by anyone like I know where I stand and what I have ,but the only thing I compare myself to others the most when me and my fiancé try to have some personal time and I just don't know from where my fiance keeps on checking out every attractive girl there .
    I know its not new every other man does it, it is aboslutely normal but still some times really breaks me down.Nomatter how good am looking I loose all my my confidence completely .Its really upsets me and I start comparing myself to all other girls .
    I just do not know how to fight with this thing.It seems to be small but sometimes it make a big difference ,please suggest me something if possible
    I'll really be thankful to you .
    Thank you so much

    • Hi my love so sorry that you feel this way. I have been there before and know it's not always easy. Just remember that you're a beautiful person both inside and outside. It's not just about physical appearance. There's something very genuine and special about you and I'm sure you Fiancé knows that! xo

  7. Thanks Naty,I have gained alot from this post.Be blessed

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