Life Chats

Finding The Calm In The Chaos

“When life hands you apples, grab some wine and make sangria.” – Me

Can I copyright that quote? Has it been said before? I like to think that I’m the first to come up with it. Ha!

I’m currently sitting at my countertop with a glass of Sauvignon Blanc next to me, but by the time I hit publish that will probably be replaced with a cup of morning coffee. I got home from SoulCycle class a few hours ago and felt the urge to pour myself a glass, sit down and write. Love when I get that urge. This post has actually been floating around in my drafts for about two weeks now with several different topic changes. I’m not sure why exactly, but it’s been difficult for me to narrow down my focus long enough to start and finish a post all at once.

Wasn’t living alone supposed to help me think more clearly? 

Initially, I was planning to write a piece on my favorite things about living in NYC along with the most challenging aspects of being on my own here. This somehow took a completely different turn though. I still plan to touch on that other topic very soon, but for now, here’s a little life chat with some thoughts that I’ve been meaning to share on here.

Truth be told, I’ve been struggling in this industry lately – more than I care to admit. I’m just trying to find my sole purpose again and get back that dose of daily inspiration to consistently write and create content. Hopefully you read my last piece where I explained the reasons behind my current “blogging break” – if not, I urge you to check it out as I hope it provides a bit more insight into my silence here on Naty Michele. 

Believe me when I say, I hate that I now only blog once a month. I sometimes feel like a hypocrite because I’ve been neglecting this space that I worked so hard to create. I still wholeheartedly believe that your blog should be your number one over any social media platform. Nothing about that has changed for me. I also believe that sometimes you just need to take a little break or step away from things that you’ve been so consumed with for such a long time and yes, this includes work. 

New York City inspires me and it keeps me motivated, but I think I’ve been channeling all of that incredible newfound energy into my personal life rather than my work. (right now) Back at home in Jersey, my sole focus was building this blog and my business. I shot just about every day with my mom for almost 7 years. I would stay up for hours writing and doing whatever I could to ensure that I would have new projects and partnerships in addition to my own content to put out consistently, both here and on my social media channels.

In many ways, I lacked that same motivation in my personal life. I didn’t always take the best care of myself or my body. I fell into these constant ruts, which resulted in me staying home most days and weekends. My social life was sometimes non-existent. I even stopped dating for awhile. So now that I’m finally here on my own in my very own apartment – I’m fully embracing it. I’m still working, of course, but I’ve definitely slowed down and have to admit I’m enjoying this current pace. It’s been giving me the opportunity to put more focus and attention into other areas of my life that I have neglected far too often before.

Let’s be honest, NYC is chaotic. It’s so fast-paced and it’s imperative for me to keep up with the flow while finding the calm in the chaos. I’m still forming a new routine. I’ve switched up a few things with my nutrition and fitness, which has helped me tremendously. I’ve created a better balance of time for me and time for friends. There’s been so much going on this summer and I’m still in the process of settling into my apartment and this new city lifestyle. Literally everything has changed for me over these last 3 months. It’s a huge transition – one that I haven’t fully adjusted to yet. 

As the weeks pass with limited new posts from me, I can’t help but to feel a little bit of guilt. I constantly feel like I owe an explanation for my absence in the digital world. So many of you tell me that you will still be here when I get back into things completely and I truly hope that is the case. We’ve been such an incredible community on here over the last 7 years and if anything, I just want to keep expanding on that.

I head to Italy the beginning of August and I’ll be over there for 2 full weeks. When I get back home, my niece will be born. I’ll stay in Jersey for a little bit to spend time with my family before heading back into the city. My hope is that this solo trip will allow me to gain some new clarity and perspective, especially when it comes to work.

What comes next? What is it that I truly want? Why do I keep struggling with this? These are pressing questions that I’ve had for far too long.

Maybe this trip out of the country can provide me with a bit more guidance and understanding as to which direction I should take. Solo travel always seems to help me with that. I haven’t been away on my own since Spain last May, so I am looking forward to this more than you know. You can definitely expect some new travel posts from me when I get back!

A huge reason for this move was so that I could create new opportunities with work. That’s definitely still the goal. As I mentioned in my last post, my love for this has not changed one bit and I want to continue doing it for as long as I can – but it’s also time for a new venture for me. Hopefully I can branch out this year into something else, something more, that still connects back to this blog. I always wanted Naty Michele to serve as the foundation for whatever is to come next in my career.

It’s more than ok to go through these moments, especially when you reach such a huge milestone in your life. It’s crazy how you go through these stagnant phases afterwards where you begin questioning everything. Moving was my biggest goal for such a long time so now I need to figure out the next one. In the meantime, I’m just working on myself, strengthening self-love, transitioning to a life on my own in New York and enjoying all these moments in real time.

I’ll continue sharing as much as I can when I can. I know I will figure it all out. I always do. Thanks so much for reading this piece and for the constant love and support that you all consistently show.

Photos by Geraldine Torres

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  1. N. Tessa Sishi

    I’ve always loved you since 2015 and I was drawn to you because you loved your father and was inspired by him even after his passing. That’s the same with me. I reunited with you this morning (I use South African time) and I can still feel that same connection. I am so proud of you and look up to you. You’re such an inspiration to your audience (me and many others) and I’m grateful for you. Don’t feel guilty at all. As long as you’re walking you still moving❤. Love the content. Love you.

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